SEARCH PRODUCTS

(Search for a product in our store. Use browser back button to return here, if you want.)

Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of our website.

. NEW! Now we have the Flying Monkey Slingshot Toy. Uh, moake that SCREAMING flying monkey.

A Basic Freedom

I RECKON that one of our most basic rights as Americans is to be able to poke fun at our elected representatives. Apparently many agree, hence the popularity of our Obama-themed funny money

Props

Visit our Prop Department For stage cigars, actor's cigarettes, And assorted GIANT SIZE items for acting, educational props, or just for fun.

Cigarette Loads not pipe bombs…

With some trepidation, we are about to acquire a batch of exploding cigarette loads. Apparently I never learn. Allow me to explain.

When I was about 12, my family was on vacation at Birch Bay, this was in the early 70′s. There was a little joke shop near the little amusement park there, I got ahold of whatever I could scrounge up the money for, which is hard to do on vacation. Got some of those cigarette loads, my grandma wasn’t there yet so nobody smoked cigs… BUT my dad smoked a pipe…

I put some (at least 3) in there but got bored waiting for him to “light up”… He did when I was out and from what I understand it nearly blew his reading glasses off. I got kinda yelled at, but I think mom was hiding a smirk.

Later, I put a tailpipe whistle in grandma’s Dodge Dart, but didn’t account for her being somewhat deaf. So she drove off with it and I never heard another thing about it. It might have fallen out somewhere. That was disappointing, but I learned a lesson about vetting your mark, or whatever.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-01-22

Powered by Twitter Tools

Monkey Business Joke shop in Lincoln City to close forever

Monkey Business Joke Shop of Lincoln City, Oregon
We are saddened to hear that the Monkey Business Joke Shop in Lincoln City, Oregon will be closing in a matter of weeks. I understand that they are having a pretty good closing sale, you would be well advised to take your Oregon Coast trip by the end of March, because nothing livens up a romantic cabin getaway like a remote-controlled fart machine.

We offer many of the items they have (or had) and will be acquiring their leftover stock, if you all don’t beat us to the punch. It would be nice if someone picked up where they left off and continued this fine tradition, but I can’t retire from my “real” job yet, and besides, I’m probably too arthritic to live near the sea. Anyone?

Maybe I should have said tiger?

The pictionary word DEODoRANT
We have been sort of confined to quarters by bad weather, so to keep from goind all REDRUM! we have been playing Pictionary.

Now, every time we open the Pictionary box, I am confronted by the the drawings from earlier games. This picture is pretty obviously “Deodorant”…




The pictionary trojan horse?

… But this one took a while to remember… It looks like a German Shephard with a giant fly on his back, as viewed through a window. Then I noticed the horse footprints, and remembered, it’s a “Trojan Horse”. I shouldn’t have tried to draw a gift box around him.



Tonight, I sort of had the opportunity to cheat, Frank drew a line, and being a smart Alec I yelled LINE! And Frank exclaimed “He guessed it!” Teresa and Daphne wanted to know how I guessed it from just a line! I was confused by this, turns out the word was “Lion”. Everybody ganged up on me then and made me spit out my gum.

I guess we DO need stinkin’ badges.

i was going to post our old button-making machine on eBaY, but I lost the directions. Googled it, now this kid made it look like so much fun, suddenly everybody wants to make buttons. It’s really hard to get rid of anything around here.



Postal carriers love sleet. What’s the problem?

Let's go garden!
What is wrong with kids today? I can’t get anyone interested in going anywhere today, just because of a little sleet and rain… Just look at this 50′s family, marching out to garden at the first opportunity, despite everyone having lost their feet in a horrible push mower accident the previous year.

Trailer Trash gone solar

Trailer Trash Keychain
I am so frustrated! These keychains look great, but I just can’t get a good picture, video, or scan of them. They are too reflective.

The flashing “billboard” part of the keychain is about 2 5/8″ long. The picture says BAD ASS top left, “TRAILER TRASH” lower left. The picture is of a little camping trailer and a trash can. It kind of reminds me of those old Lucky beer cap puzzles. The billboard flashes on and off when exposed to light. No batteries needed; it’s solar. On sale at That Restless Mouse for just 87 cents! Just get them out of my sight. I’m done.

Something new; product reviews

We are gradually changing the product pages over to a new format that includes product reviews; Please feel free to review products, we want to know your experience with these products for better or worse. (The changeover is kind of a slow process because it’s just me doing it, sadly)

Two old guys at a bar…

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and said to my friend…
“That’s us in 10 years.”
He said, “That’s a mirror, dip-shit!”

Twinkie the Kid vs The Frito Bandito?

Twinkies will never die
Just heard that Hostess is going into bankruptcy (for the second time in recent memory) Hopefully they won’t be liquidated this time. Of course, the products such as Wonder Bread, Twinkies, etc. are valuable assets, and surely would live on under new management, right? right? I don’t know why I care, I’m diabetic and can’t have any of that.

When I was a kid, I really thought “Twinkie the Kid” was about par with the Cheerios kid as pathetic mascot. I remain convinced that The Frito Bandito would win in a shootout with T-kid, sadly you can’t really kill him.

The super value grab bag just keeps on giving

Some of the items that might be found in our super value mystery grab bags; Tic-Tac-Toast, Onion ring Minds, Walking robot pencil sharpener, A foot shaped thing that holds movies or DVD’s, pennant that says “ASSISTANT MANAGER”, fake cigar, bracelets, barf buckets, screaming toilet seat gag, fake vomit, fart cushion, magic book, ominous tiki, many other items too humorous to mention. These are just examples of things in current, past or future grab bags; who knows what you will end up with.

Living room escape hatch


I think this suitcase as end table thing is really neat. I would keep a change of clothes and a large amount of cash in it, if I ever get the urge to split, I could just knock the legs off on the way out the door.

We didn’t start the fire

SFPD new equipment roster
Teresa gets a bit carried away with the “Arts and Crafts” sometimes. My son is appalled, this used to be his favorite toy fire truck.

Retro “Naked Lady” Pen

One of our most "clicked on" products, the "Naked Lady" tip-and-strip float pen. We have the guy pens too. Don't blame me, that was the wife's idea. I still have no idea why she is so interested in those polite cartoon chipmunks.

Road Rage Help

There's nothing worse than being stuck in traffic, with a sore throat. Now there's help, our Road Rage Megaphone will talk to those morons on your behalf.
Hey suckups! S.A.D. (Supervisor Appreciation Day) is approaching!