Attention former LAKESIDE PRODUCTS customers…

I remember buying “Naked Lady Pens” and “Fortune Fish” along with many other items, from a magazine ad Lakeside placed, in like 1972? I resold these items to other kids in the neighborhood. Nowadays I probably would have been expelled from school instead of merely having my pens confiscated. Here…
Cellphone- Stylus? Finger? Carrot?

Cellphone- Stylus? Finger? Carrot?

I have an Android "smart" phone, and although, because my store stocks them, I have a virtually unlimited supply of styluses (stylii?) - I usually use my fat, greasy, callused fingers to navigate the long-suffering expanse of gorilla glass. Why? because I lose them. Even the ones that plug into…
My sister in law kind of creeps me out

My sister in law kind of creeps me out

I was playing with some photo editing software and inverted this pleasant picture of my SIL Lisa as a toddler playing out on the sidewalk. Good grief! Who know how much a simple change would creepify a little toddler into a cover for a horror movie DVD.
This comic book smells funny

This comic book smells funny

I saw on prefunct* tie-dye website TourDyes.com that one of the items they will trade tie-dyes products for is "Freak Brothers Comics". I think I actually have one or two in my uncle Marvin's attic. Apparently I left a box of comic books over there when I spent part of…
Charming and annoying items for cheap!

Charming and annoying items for cheap!

Our rattlesnake eggs windup joke says CAUTION RATTLESNAKE EGGS right on the envelope, but people just can't leave stuff alone. It will rattle the envelope and startle the heck out of someone, because A. people are kind of dumb and B. It's a response honed by many generations of desert-dwelling…
The Restless Mouse salutes G. “thumb twiddler” Gochanour

The Restless Mouse salutes G. “thumb twiddler” Gochanour

Today we salute G. Gochanour, a retired guy from Iowa who attempted to monetize the concept of twiddling your thumbs. He was/is the "Founder and Chairman of the Board" of Twiddler's Anonymous. Initially, I thought this was some flavor of 12 step program, but the tagline is "Preserve the art,…
How do the department store buyers do it?

How do the department store buyers do it?

We just got a case of these silly frog keychains. You squeeze him, his tongue rolls out like he's just seen Miss Piggy in a bikini. Why? Just because it struck my fancy. Our inventory racks are filled with things like this, the old 80/20 rule at work. 20% of…
Related to hand grenades?

Related to hand grenades?

New item, help-counter hand grenade sight gags. I went back to look at the posting, and I see the bigcommerce system has decided that the following items are related; 3260
Some things just go out of style

Some things just go out of style

Last year, boneless pork rectums were all the rage, but now people won't give a plugged nickel for them. Why are you so fickle? These are "back by popular demand". But we don't sell food products here. This commentary is brought to you by our fun tattoo, red, white, and…