The Restless Mouse Co.

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The Restless Mouse
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The Restless Mouse Online Variety & Novelty Store sounds like a pretty big operation, but we actually operate out of an old ramshackle house on the edge of town, subsisting on meager profits and my night job in a filthy warehouse. This low overhead keeps our prices a bit lower that our competition. Here's what's happening;

• 7/20/2010 Looking for an outlet for your novelty item? One of our main goals is to support other microbusinesses, basement tinkerers, people with ideas but no connections with any of our corporate overlords. The criteria for selling wholesale novelty & useful items to The Restless Mouse? Not necessarily in this order:
  1. It can't be too heavy; everything we sell must be shipped twice. (From you to us, and then to our customer. And sometimes our customer ships it to someone else again. That gets expensive. Unless you are willing to dropship directly to our customer.
  2. It has to be priced at wholesale, even in relatively small quantities to start. We gotta eat!
  3. The item has to be somewhat unique, funny, or somehow compelling. If bacon or farting are involved, that's always helpful.
  4. Not too perishable (We have learned to stay away from watch-battery items)
  If you want to send samples &/or price lists etc. to THE RESTLESS MOUSE PO BOX 3022 ARLINGTON WA 98223, We will carefully evaluate it, even if we don't use it I will mention it on my blog, where my dad and at least one of my sisters will probably read it.
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• 7/11/2010 Going through my email box, stumbled on some fine customer kudos... Thanks Glen...
  Hello! You have a great selection of ultra funny stuff! The comments in your ads are as funny too. I bought a couple of Zero Obama Bills elsewhere and paid nearly as much for 1 compared to the pack of 25 from you and all I had to do is walk to the mail box. It is the first time I seen 2 headed Quarters and just had to have one, yep me and my buddies too! That's why I bought 3. They are Very Real Looking on Both Sides at a Glance & I collect coins. The other 2 guy's that get these, well I will double check the coin before the toss who buy's the Beer! Have Fun! Glen
• 7/5/2010 Ahhh... Peace and quiet today. Next year I am going to put some of these fake fingertips in the street just to confuse the medics.
• 6/21/2010 Added our old friends at the Gumball Machine Warehouse to our friends list there... I used to have a gumball machine route, it was a great Saturday job and my favorite part was taking those huge jars of quarters to the bank. The trick with vending machines is finding good locations- I found any place where drunks hang out did great. Go figure.
• 6/20/2010 back in stock! And I bought a lot. People love Curly.
• 6/5/2010 - A lengthy discussion about our Garlic Mints offer going on at Deals.Woot.com - They love to talk about these offers but rarely BUY anything. They have been going on about the alleged ability of garlic to ward off vampires and policemen with blood alcohol testing equipment. But some people just LIKE them. This one guy waxed eloquent;
  
  First of all, these mints are quite tasty.
  
  Now, as a man who loves garlic more than any other spice (sometimes I like to think of them as vegetables and treat them as such in some meals I prepare) these mints aren't all that garlicky. They do, in fact, make your breath smell good and not at all like garlic. When I was given them as a gift I truly hoped that they would be a garlic explosion that would drive all of my coworkers away but they actually make your breath smell good while tasting slightly of garlic.
  
  I implore science to invest time in creating a delicious garlic "mint" that will be so strong that it makes my pores exude the same garlic funk as the times I go on insane garlic benders that causes mosquitoes to burst into flames when they fly within three feet of me. Meanwhile, I will enjoy these.
  
  Also, my wife thanks the creators of this mint for not taking it to the extremes I long for.
  
  ... He should be a copywriter!
• We just got a fresh supply of that Obama Zero Dollar Funny Money, we try not to run out because it's our top selling novelty bill.
• A guy was closing out his stock of these silly Novelty Driver's License Souvenirs, so I bought them all; They look new but they must be old stock, I got Monica from Friends, and even "The Fonz". What was I thinking? Still not done scanning them in and posting them to the website.
• Is something we usually carry missing from our inventory? Check out the new Inventory Status Page
• By the way, this is a new page design I'm fiddling with, so some of the links might loop right back here for now. Depends on whether it rains today, if it doesn't I have to do yard work (ugh).

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SEARCH HELP

We don't just shrug and turn away. If we don't have what you are looking for, we'll check our sources, do some online research, call our guy in Chicago who has been in the business since before I was born... whatever it takes, or at least as much as my short attention span allo

The Restless Mouse carries hundreds of novelty and retro items, please take a stroll through our virtual aisles.
Thanks for visiting, John & Teresa Everett, Proprietors

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Postman's BLue Plate Special

For a limited time, get it faster at no extra charge

It's the "Postman Special" some of our customers may remember, we do this from time to time. You get PRIORITY MAIL instead of standard parcel or mail shipping. You will get your stuff a lot faster.

I couldn't find a way to create a coupon that would do this, our store's coupon system is harder than Chinese Math with a dull pencil.

THE WORKAROUND: Just put the "Phrase that Pays" (see below) in the COMMENTS section when you order. This won't work as a coupon.

THE FINE PRINT ON THIS OFFER:

• Offer expires the day after we erase this post! So if you are seeing it here, it's still good.
• Good on USA orders only!
• The phrase that pays is: "The Postman is Smiling".

Gosh, it wasn't supposed to be that complicated! I ought to work for the government.

OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY on Page Two

CAVALCADE
OF SAVINGS
Whatever that means