The Secret Admirer

The Secret Admirer

I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW THIS, BUT SOMEONE YOU KNOW THINKS YOU'RE PRETTY COOL. I'D NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE TO TELL YOU FACE TO FACE...
Cellphone- Stylus? Finger? Carrot?

Cellphone- Stylus? Finger? Carrot?

If you get a bunch of them and start out when you have a relatively new phone, maybe you can avoid having your screen look like the windshield of a jeep from Daktari.
This comic book smells funny

This comic book smells funny

I liked Fat Freddy's cat, there was a running gag where he would shit in Fat Freddy's shoe. It was funny because that cat was so very happy doing it. The cockroach army was funny until a few years later when I moved into a crappy apartment and found out about cockroaches.

My apologies for the LinkedIn deluge

I realize most of those are sent to folks who bought from our online store one time, and it's like the guy that pumped your gas and said "If Ethyl don't mind!" showed up at your house.
Charming and annoying items for cheap!

Charming and annoying items for cheap!

It will rattle the envelope and startle the heck out of someone, because A. people are kind of dumb and B. It's a response honed by many generations of desert-dwelling humans.

114856384859? No, That’s not it.

There is a contest to find out what is the lowest possible number that does not have any Google results. In fact, it sounds like a test for a tech industry job interview.