Gas station toilet paper spindles

I just bought two of these “no waste rocking action” toilet paper spindles online; will let you know how it works out. Why? Two ladies in this house and we’re on a septic system, that’s why. We currently have common “consumer grade” toilet paper dispensers, the kind that goes “Ziiing!!” instead of “Klunk Klunk”. I should have tried this years ago.

No one knows whose dog that was!

No one knows whose dog that was!

Here’s me and my siblings sitting on the couch, waiting for video games and cellphones to be invented, or at least Pong. The reason I look kind of freaked out, is that my sister Evelyn (There in the saddle shoes) just directed that stare to my Tonka truck and melted the ignition wires.

I can’t see not having glasses I sent the following missive to my sister, who has problems with defective(?) contact lenses:

I sure would consider glasses, or at least have some for backup. Studies show that people who wear glasses are treated better by employers and get better grades in school.

They are also good for communication: For example:

A. You are in a meeting – You can take them off dramatically and say something like, “Dammit, Edna, your overtime rules are jeopardizing the safety of this hospital!”. Be sure to practice this move first, it would not be good to accidentally fling your glasses across the room.

B. Showing contempt by looking at someone over the top of the frame.

C. Flirting – you can take them off and thoughtfully gnaw on them while staring up into some dude’s eyes. This is probably why Ed doesn’t want you to get glasses.

D. You can take them off and dramatically rub your eyes to signify that it’s been a long day and you have had it with this person’s BS. Mrs. Pinchon on “Lou Grant” used to do this in almost every episode.

I’m sure there are others but now my eyes are already getting tired. I don’t even have defective contacts, I have to envy yours.

what is the stuff on the calendar called What is that stuff that is left at the top of a partially used desk calendar called? Anyone? Does Dilbert know?

creepydumpanimals

I like to save money by going to the dump at the reservation instead of the county waste transfer station, but that place creeps me out… there are stuffed toys and Barbies watching from the trees. I opened the truck door so they couldn’t see me throwing away some old broken toys.

Special K can kiss my fat butt

The back of the Special K box wants you to write what you gain by losing (weight) on the back of the cereal box, take a picture of yourself holding the box, and upload it to their website. Bite me, Special K. You aren’t as healthy as you think you are. Furthermore, I don’t appreciate having the word “spunk” on my cereal box.

Newspaper editors think they are clever

"Bathroom relief is sought"

“Bathroom relief is sought” heheh. I know that editor was smirking.

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