Handy Dandy Office Memos

By in The Products on October 8, 2011

Here are some handy office memos for common situations that arise at work. Cut and Paste, time is money!

MEMO #1 The Lunchroom Dystopia

TO ALL EMPLOYEES:

RE:LUNCHROOM CLEANLINESS

As you know, our standard has been for the lunchroom refrigerator to be cleaned out every Friday. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that this task has not been accomplished for some time.

Your new standard for cleaning the refrigerator will be once per month, or when the contents begin to erode the Tupperware from the inside, whichever comes first.

Thank you, THE MANAGEMENT

MEMO #2 It Calls to You

TO ALL EMPLOYEES:

RE:GIRL SCOUT COOKIES

Effective immediately, workplace sales of fund raising candy is forbidden. We have found that these sales directly correlate to premature failure of office chairs.

Thank you, THE MANAGEMENT

MEMO #3 My Tractor needs Repair, and OMG KITTENS

TO ALL EMPLOYEES:

RE: COMPUTER USAGE

Once again I must remind you that recreational use of your desktop computers is limited to breaks and lunch only.

It’s not just affecting productivity; one of our clients got a business letter signed off with “TTYL”.

Mrs. Johnson in accounting was mortified to have been rated “NOT HOT” online. Please use common sense, we are all middle-aged office drones.

Thank you, THE MANAGEMENT

MEMO #4 It’s just for PARKING and SMOKING

TO ALL EMPLOYEES:

RE: The incident in the parking lot last Tuesday afternoon.

The fender-bender in the North Parking Lot probably could have been settled amicably between the parties involved.

In the future, please be aware that it’s not helpful to form a circle and yell “Chick Fight!”

Thank you, THE MANAGEMENT

MEMO #5 The international Language of OH CRAP

TO ALL EMPLOYEES:

RE: Office Noise.

Please try to keep office noise to a minimum. The factory managers are trying to learn to say “Who Moved My Cheese” in Chinese.

Thank you, THE MANAGEMENT

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