Take ducks for instance.

  • ME: “Ooh, look at the pretty ducky with the green head! I think they are called mallards, maybe they originated in Ballard?”

  • SMART PEOPLE: The phylogeny of this genus is one of the most confounded ones of all living birds. Research is hampered by the fact the radiation of the two major groups of Anas – the teals and mallard groups – took place in a very short time and fairly recently, roughly in the mid-late Pleistocene. Furthermore, hybridization may have long played a major role in Anas evolution, with within-subgenus hybrids regularly and between-subgenus hybrids not infrequently being fully fertile.[1] The relationships between species are much obscured by this fact, and mtDNA sequence data is of dubious value in resolving their relationships;[2] on the other hand, nuclear DNA sequences evolve too slowly to resolve the phylogeny of the subgenus Anas for example. Some major clades can be discerned. For example, that the traditional subgenus Anas, the mallard group, forms a monophyletic (in the loose sense, i.e. non-holophyletic) group has never been seriously questioned by modern science and is as good as confirmed (but see below). On the other hand, the phylogeny of the teals is very confusing. For these reasons, the dabbling duck lineages more distantly related to mallard group (which includes the type species of Anas) than the wigeons should arguably be separated in their own genera. These would include the Baikal Teal, the Garganey, the spotted black-capped Punanetta group, and the shovelers and other blue-winged species. Whether the wigeons, which are very distinct in morphology[3] and behavior,[4] but much less so in mtDNA cytochrome b and NADH dehydrogenase subunit 2 sequences,[5] should also be considered a distinct genus Mareca (including the Gadwall and Falcated Duck) is essentially the one remaining point of dispute as regards the question which taxa should remain in this genus and which ones should not.

I love jokes that I can tell as if they happened to me. The problem now is, whenever I start to relate ANY story, serious or not, my friends and coworkers will fold their arms and smirk…

Anyway, I enjoyed this one. Hope you will too; A guy is on an elevator and a blonde gets on. She smiles and says “T.G.I.F.”! He looks at her and says “S.H.I.T.” She shakes her head no, and says, “No, I said T.G.I.F.!!” He repeats, “S.H.I.T.” Now the blonde is frustrated, she says, “T.G.I.F. – It means, Thank God It’s Friday!” He replies, “I know what it means. S.H.I.T. means “Sorry Honey, It’s Thursday.”

I got one of these wallets for my cellphone, so I wouldn’t have to carry two things. It’s nice and all, the phone fits perfectly. It’s kind of thick so I can’t carry it in my hip pocket, but that was expected. A few things I didn’t account for;

  1. It looks weird to talk to your wallet

  2. Not a lot of room for the big wad of cash I like to carry around.

  3. Leaving my cellphone laying around wasn’t that big a deal because it’s insured. Leaving it laying around with my ID and credit cards in it, that’s another thing entirely.

  4. The charging port is on the inside edge, so it has to be left open to charge.

  5. The magnetic latch isn’t strong enough; I added Velcro, so now there is a ripping sound when I open it; makes it hard to sneak a peek under the table at a meeting… This is probably my biggest complaint.

Even accounting for all that, for eight dollars or so, I’m happy with it. What’s in your wallet?

I had a guy on Fiverr do this video to make the point that our prices are so low, it’s basically chicken feed. It was a dumb idea

It seems that this old couple is having trouble remembering things, so they sign up for a memory course. The course is wonderful; they come home and tell all their relatives, friends, and neighbors about it. Some months later, a neighbor approaches the man as he works in his garden.

Neighbor asks, “Say, Ed, what was the name of the instructor of that memory course you liked so much?”

Ed replies, “Well, it was…hmmm…let me think a minute… What’s the name of that flower, you know, the one that smells so nice, but has thorns on the stems…?

Neighbor says, “You mean, a rose?”

Ed replies, “Yeah, that’s it!…(shouting toward house) Hey, Rose, what was the memory course instructor’s name?

Two fisted drinking is required We visited a local mexican-style eatery Saturday afternoon – asked for a large glass of beer, they brought me something in a huge chalice of some sort, fit for a Spanish Emporer and holding about a gallon of beer. I had to drink it with both hands. Did she seriously think that I was going to drink that?

The taco salad was like they got a can of Kirkland signature chicken and dumped it in the bottom, juice and all, and threw salad fixings on top.

The worst part, the place smelled strongly of Mr. Clean, with a hint of Chihuahua urine. You had to wonder what went on there the night before. It sort of put me off my feed. I am sticking to Azteca for my multicultural cuisine from now on.

This part of my lawn looks to be kaput My neighbor on the right came over to the house on my left and used some Agent Orange type stuff to kill the stickers. He also gave an unhealthy dose of it to my lawn, supposedly overspray??

So now we have an unsightly patch. I am thinking about putting a bush there, but what? It should be low maintenance but tall/thick enough to conceal the dead zone on the other side of the chain link. The neighbor with the weedkiller and the scythe should pay for some of this, but I’m not sure I want to start anything with him. Maybe I will let my dog crap on his lawn and call it even.

Last week was “Pat Cashman” week. It all started when I mentioned that someone at work didn’t need to “Go all Brad Beagleman about it”. Then I was forced to explain that to “”Go all Brad Beagleman” meant to care too much, from an old bit Pat Cashman did about a car dealer who would yell about the unethical practices of other car dealers.

This devolved into lamenting the demise of entertaining radio shows, but it was suggested that I Google for a podcast, and viola! Pat Cashman and Lisa Foster together again on “The Peculiar Podcast” (Which indeed, it is)

BUT WAIT – There’s more… So, Saturday night I am grazing Netflix, looking for something, anything, feeling unsatisfied because they STILL don’t have season 4 of Breaking Bad. I started watching a surreal dark comedy, “The Visioneers”, and who pops up as the host of some sort of telethon, but Pat Cashman himself. Sadly, his head explodes, but as far as I know it was just a special effect.

Now, I thought these things are usually grouped in threes, so where is the third Pat Cashman reference?

BTW The podcast is very amusing, but I hope they devise some sort of call in technology for it, so we can hear from the likes of Mickey from the Denny Regrade, Clem Phlerm, and there was a little kid named Harry that used to call in, this was almost 15 years ago I reckon. Maybe he will call from MIT, or from a trailer park in Fife. I kind of expect that if he is in a gang, he is the leader.

Anyway, if you enjoy Washington state chicken, you should give The Peculiar Podcast a listen.

Horrifying tutu toad I took a picture of this… thing at the Goodwill yesterday. I figure that later, it might help my therapist pin down exactly when and why the nightmares began.

I was late picking my daughter up from her boyfriend’s house, because we were looking for a kitten that was meowing like it needed help. Then it would quiet down for a few minutes, and start up again.

Turns out that at some point, I must have been playing with that Zedge ringtone app and set it for calls from my daughter to be a mewling kitten ( I call her kitten sometimes when I feel like being Robert Young from Father Knows Best.) She was trying to call me. That sure is a realistic ringtone.