My sister likes to use “Skype” to talk to her daughters, one of them has a new baby* so I guess it’s reasonable that using one of those newfangled picture-phones would be a good way to coo and be all grandmotherly without actually having to change diapers.

She thinks I should get with the program and use Skype, but I am perfectly happy just using the phone. Why would she want to look at me? When we were kids, we would build elaborate cereal-box partitions so we could look at the martian on the Quisp box, Captain Crunch, Tony the Tiger (rarely), The corn flakes rooster (usually). But not each other. It was fun to peek over the top of the wall and make her say “MOM! John’s LOOKING at me!!!”

* From an old Mad magazine; “New baby? What happened to the old baby? My God! It’s the Pampers that are supposed to be disposable!”… I still think this is hilarious.

Kristen Bell and stink perfume?

Yeah, some times late at night, I google myself. We also use Alexa. Alexa has a little chart with search terms people use to get to our longstanding website ThatRestlessMouse.com (Gradually being overtaken by our new improved store at RestlessMouse.com)

Everything seems to be in order here…. Obama Zero Dollar Money, check…. Giant Stuff, sure we sell oversized prop items, and those prop cigars and cigarettes… WAIT A MINUTE…. Kristen Bell?? That makes no sense. I just looked at her wiki page, at the bottom it says she likes sloths. Does that have something to do with it?

I hope my wife doesn’t find out that me and Alexa have been in here googling Kristen Bell’s wiki.

preachy sticker in vending machine So I’m casually perusing the contents of one of the vending machines at work, now not only do they have the laughable “Healthy Choices” signs, they have added a sticker that says “BURN IT OFF! Don’t forget to EXERCISE today.” Can I please enjoy my snack first?

Besides, What the hell do they think I HAVE been doing? I walked like 30 yards to GET to the vending machine, and then I had to go back for change! It’s like those “problem gambling helpline” signs at the casino. Too little, too late.