Why do some kids have to doodle all over a book? OK, it’s not a library book, but maybe it was one he had in juvie? It’s “The Regulators”, one of Stephen King’s “Bachman” books. I hope it didn’t warp the kid’s mind any further.

A defaced copy of "The Regulators"

While perusing the postcards, I often ascribe comments and activities that fit my view of the world. This is the result, if postcards were perfectly honest…

The one about the birthday spankings

Why do birthdays have to be so violent?

Sometimes the postcards I collect interest me more from the message written on them than the postcard image. For example, this young lady writes to her friend; Just a quick note, early or late, to say happy birthday. I hope the sky finds you well, the train sings you to sleep, the whiskey tickles your throat, & a firm hand slaps your ass 26 times over. Lots of love, D

Now look, I know this is a tradition in some parts, but isn’t 26 a little old for the “birthday spankings” thing? She’s nobody’s poet.

We sell a lot of these Generic condoms. Now please note, I don’t know how reliable they are, and I don’t trust your girlfriend, so buyer beware. (It’s just for a laugh.)

BTW, did you know that “Ramses” brand condoms are named after the great pharaoh Ramses II, who fathered more than 160 children? What the hell were they thinking?