The one about the birthday spankings

Why do birthdays have to be so violent?

Sometimes the postcards I collect interest me more from the message written on them than the postcard image. For example, this young lady writes to her friend; Just a quick note, early or late, to say happy birthday. I hope the sky finds you well, the train sings you to sleep, the whiskey tickles your throat, & a firm hand slaps your ass 26 times over. Lots of love, D

Now look, I know this is a tradition in some parts, but isn’t 26 a little old for the “birthday spankings” thing? She’s nobody’s poet.

The Restless Mouse Command Center

I see Windows Eight has arrived ( They would do better if they call it “Windows Eight” instead of “Windows 8”- It implies horsepower ) – Frank Lee, I don’t see what the hoopla is about. It’s mainly a different screen and a different way to sell software, am I overlooking something important? I don’t need all of my software to be “apps”. That’s another thing, I know “Apps” is short for applications, but it’s also a big chunk of the word “Apple”. Perhaps it would be too Charlie Sheeen-esque to call them “Wins” instead.

Orange grove postcard

Call you mother! A postcard just isn’t good enough.

One of my favorite things about old postcards, the messages written on the back. When it’s not “The weather is nice, this place is beautiful, nyahh nyahh neener neener neener!”

This one someone sent to her mother, apparently they correspond only by mail; Dear mom- Received your letter. Jim was to tell you about our moving, but your letter didn’t sound as if you knew. I thought he had called both you and Elsie and Frank. We are all packed, moving May 2nd. Will write to you from our new address as soon as I can. Love, Olive & Dale.

Teresa was thinking maybe Olive was mute, or deaf? But what are the odds that Dale was also? Obviously mom had a phone. Maybe they couldn’t afford long distance charges? Maybe Olive picked Oranges for a living?

We are so spoiled today.

Dog with pacifier

Oh, just rinse it off. Good as new,

I can’t believe I hadn’t seen this picture, from 1985- My mom’s dog swiped this pacifier from my niece. He knew exactly what he was doing.

The Who Farted Snow Globe teaser pic

NEW ITEM ALERT: The marketplace is not efficient, We acquired these Who Farted Snowglobes for a most agreeable price, unfortunately they cost a lot to ship, being full of water and whatever those snowflakes are made of.

This snow globe poses more questions than it answers; why is it snowing in the bathroom? Why did the child bring a gas mask into the bath? Was he anticipating an unpleasant smell? If it happens every time he bathes, maybe it’s not a fart smell at all. Does sis keep the cat’s litterbox in the bathroom? There’s your trouble. Click that link to be delighted by our price on this rare and valuable collectible.

P.S. Here are more of our Fart-related items.

Wise old owl is now a basket case

I think someone is messing with my head, I keep finding this owl in different places, now he is nesting in the box above the toilet. He was supposed to be a clever way to store Q-tips, I think, in my younger days I would use him for Tootsie Pops, but I can’t have those any more. He stares at me, and silently mocks my personal hygiene rituals.

Lime Alarm Clock will make you want to get out of bed just to throw a towel over it.

Lime Alarm Clock will make you want to get out of bed just to throw a towel over it.

I just “pinned” this crazy green alarm clock from Collector’s Weekly… So much funky stuff out there, no wonder people hoard. I noticed there is a Purple Store up on Highway 99 AKA Aurora in North Seattle. They just sell purple stuff. I kid you not. If it had been an Orange Store or a Lime Green Store, I might have stopped in.

It makes one wonder how many people collect items of a certain color. What childhood trauma would cause this?

A few weeks ago, I was on the points auction site LISTIA and won the audiobook, “The Art of War”, and at 4000 points, paid dearly for it.

I assumed that since the “auction” page used the Amazon picture for it, it would include whatever packaging usually comes when you buy it on Amazon; and more importantly, a commercially produced CD. Instead, what I got was a home-burned CD with a home printed label. Admittedly, a very nicely made label. I would show it to you, but it’s out in the truck. Here is a screenshot of the ad;

Now, what would a warrior do about this? Break the CD and threaten the sender with the shards? It’s hard to scare anyone via the mail. I guess I will listen to the CD and live to fight another day.

So I have a lot of points on the trading site Listia.com, and I was randomly browsing… I meant to just comment on this one but I fumbled around and bid on it…

How awkwardly can you eat corn?

Mystery Corn Eater

… So my question was, “Well, just how awkwardly can someone eat corn? I got the picture back because I “won” the auction, I won’t post it but apparently the answer is; VERY awkwardly. For the record, here is the proper way to eat corn on the cob; you can’t tell by this still picture, but I am eating at a normal pace, not running it across my teeth like a fast typewriter, with a bell at the end of each row. Just for the record.

Corn on the cob fresh off the truck! You are what you eat; I eat corn.  

Wait up you guys! I haven't finished these arrows!

I picked up this little carving at a thrift store up in Mount Vernon yesterday. I can identify with him- He seems to be saying, “Wait up, you guys! I’m not done making my arrows! Larry took my good flintrock!”