The "Restless Mouse" blogThe "Restless Mouse" blog

Wee Willie Won’t Go home

headcheese — Sun, 19 May 2013 09:51:04 +0000

To the person who was searching here for “weep doll”, I think you are looking for Wee Willie. I understand that these are popular as drink dispensers in some restaurants. Health codes be damned!

It’s like Match Game without Gene * Rayburn

headcheese — Sat, 18 May 2013 15:53:08 +0000

Playing around with Google’s wildcard search operator. I typed this:

My * Itches

these are the top search results (I kid you not);

Why does my throat itch?
My scrotum itches really bad and I don’t know why?
My legs will NOT stop itching…
Causes of Ear Itching | ThriftyFun
Why does my vagina itch?
My Leg Itches Inside –
My scalp itches sooo bad! Help?!
My nose itches BADLY
Your thoughts on my itching butt · Skin Itching & Rashes discussions …

.. It seems to me that a person could build a “Match Game” or “Family Feud” app around this simple search tool.

Craigslist Lessons Learned

headcheese — Sat, 18 May 2013 06:07:25 +0000

Lessons learned from Recent Craigslist purchase;

Don’t go two towns over to get something, unless you really really want it and the extra gas and time is worth it. Traffic is always a nightmare.
(If you do go two towns over, don’t let the seller know you traveled a long way. Makes it hard to negotiate.)
Print a detailed MAP in addition to turn by turn directions. (If you miss a turn you are totally HOSED) Also bring the seller’s phone number. (If you have GPS in your car, don’t monkey with it while you drive!)
Print a copy of the craigslist ad as soon as you see it. See, I thought the item I was getting was $20 for the cabinet and $10 for the bench thing, for a total of $30. I get there, she insists it was $30 + $20. Came home, looked at the ad, the title implies $30 total but it’s $30 plus $20. I’m losing my mind.

UPDATE; Check out this selection of odd Craigslist ads at AllOverAlbany.com.

Shredding Scissors Save Space!

headcheese — Thu, 16 May 2013 18:52:25 +0000

Heavy duty shredding

Our Handy Shredding Scissors are heavy duty. Look at all those blades! Now isn’t that better than a big ugly wastebasket shredder? We’ve got them several dollars cheaper than the competition, while supplies last.

A little coupon helps a lot

headcheese — Wed, 15 May 2013 19:51:57 +0000

Everybody loves coupons, here’s one you can use right now, it’s mainly to help people who just need one little item, and they don’t like paying $4.44 to ship a $2 item! This $1.44 coupon knocks it down to $3, isn’t that better? Remember orders of $29 or more get FREE shipping.

The coupon code is LIGHT

The Costcolypse

headcheese — Sat, 11 May 2013 20:09:38 +0000

The Costcolypse begins!

Look at this email ad from Costco. Do they know something I don’t know?
Personally I wouldn’t trust a doomsday kit like this. What’s to keep them from filling the last 200 cans with just factory floor sweepings? Who would you complain to?

Whimsical otter wears baseball cap backwards

headcheese — Thu, 09 May 2013 05:22:20 +0000

You really otter shop at Haggen’s!

I’m on sort of a product mascot kick this week. Have you noticed?

I was perusing the local free newspaper and was stopped in my tracks by this enticing coupon. Haggen’s is a little upscale for our budget, but this $5 off $25 coupon should get us and many of the other riff-raff in the door. We’ll probably buy some gourmet mustard, or hot dogs infused with Parmesan cheese.

Their mascot looks like something straight out of a Simpson’s or even Family Guy. Like a Freshman in high school, he’s trying way too hard to be cool, and it’s sort of backfiring on him. I think it’s the backwards hat that did him in. At least his pants aren’t sagging.

Is Splash the Otter going to be at this event? I would go just to see some poor guy in the parking lot, sporting an Otter costume.

BTW, don’t they realize that Otters are part of the weasel family? Would you buy groceries from a weasel?

Pop-tarts are delicious despite sickly mascot

headcheese — Wed, 08 May 2013 04:15:25 +0000

Sad poptart longs for warmth of toaster.

I have started to notice a cyclical trend of product mascots, and it’s not pretty.

Take this Vanilla Poptart Mascot. I don’t know his name, but he doesn’t look well. Look at his eyes! And he’s shivering, his tiny gloves and ill-fitting wool hat are not much help when you are sitting on a block of ice.

Maybe they should have, I dunno, a muscular superhero named “Cal See-um” warm him up with concentric rings of toaster heat?

As I recall, I used to eat the vanilla ones cold. Life is short and brutal when you’re a breakfast pastry.